The Mental Game Powered by The Pazik Performance Group

#320 - Daily MG - Boundary Boss by Terri Cole - 6 of 6

"Scripts for assorted boundary behavior: Saying No “I have other priorities, but I am sending good vibes for you to figure this one out.” “As you know, it’s my busy season at work. So, unfortunately, I won’t be able to help you out with the event.” “No, I’m sorry; I definitely can’t.” Interruptions “Can I please finish that story? Once I finish, I’m all ears for your story about Bob.” “When you interrupt me, it makes me feel like you’re not really listening. I would like to request that you stop.” Passive-Aggression Disguised as Teasing “That wasn’t funny to me, and I don’t appreciate it.” “Hey, you might be joking, and I am still telling you that I don’t like it and want you to stop.” - Terri Cole

#319 - Daily MG - Boundary Boss by Terri Cole - 5 of 6

"Silencing the advice giver: If you want to share news or a personal dilemma with a pal, relative, or colleague who is often quick to give you their unsolicited opinion, you can set them up for success by starting with a qualifier, such as: “I have a situation I want to share with you. Can you just listen with compassion, please?” “I want to share what is going on for me and ask that you simply listen without offering advice or criticism. I’d really appreciate that.” If you don’t preface the conversation with your desire, either because you forgot or it feels too confronting, you can halt any auto-advice (cuz you know it’s coming) with: “At the moment, I’m not looking for feedback. I would love it if you could just lend a compassionate ear.” In relationships, especially romantic ones, where the other party has a well-established fixer role, you may want to offer more context about what you’re striving for: “I love that you are always game to help me out. What I’d appreciate right now is for you to listen and have faith that I’ll come to the answer on my own.” - Terri Cole

#318 - Daily MG - Boundary Boss by Terri Cole - 4 of 6

"The 3 Rs. Recognize. What’s not working for you? How do you feel in your body? Are you reminded of a historical situation, and is that contributing to the sensations in your body? Focus on you and your feelings, instead of judging and making the other person wrong or bad. This is about increasing your self-knowledge and understanding what is good for you—and what’s not. Listening to your body can prompt you to get curious about your experience and also to interrupt your normal way of operating, which creates the opening for something better. Release. Be brave and willing to step out of your comfort zone. Find and release the physical feeling by breathing deeply into that spot until it expands. Let go of what’s familiar, whether a limiting belief or an old behavioral pattern. Identify any transference, or Repeating Boundary Pattern. Remember that now is not then. Tell yourself, “That’s just old stuff,” and let it go so that you can be in a more thoughtful and strategic mindset. Respond. Choose to speak and act from a more mindful and conscious place. Make a simple request. State your preference, desire, or deal-breaker. Take a new action." - Terri Cole

#317 - Daily MG - Boundary Boss by Terri Cole - 3 of 6

"Gratitude Practice Among: Equally important is developing a regular practice of recognizing all that is right in your life, right now. Take a moment to conjure your real feelings of gratitude for the experiences, people, or places in your life... Did anything shift? Personally, every time I think about a baby laughing, I get a hit of joy. Remember: where your attention goes, your energy flows. When you’re feeling low, use this exercise to amplify your gratitude and elevate your mood." - Terri Cole

#316 - Daily MG - Boundary Boss by Terri Cole - 2 of 6

"Many people get confused about the difference between shame and guilt, so let me clarify: guilt feels like you did something wrong, while shame feels like you, as a person, are wrong." - Terri Cole

#315 - Daily MG - Boundary Boss by Terri Cole - 1 of 6

"...the only apology that matters is changed behavior." - Terri Cole

#314 - Daily MG - Power Questions by Andrew Sobel - 6 of 6

"Harry Emerson Fosdick said that a person wrapped up in himself makes a pretty small package." - Andrew Sobel

#313 - Daily MG - Power Questions by Andrew Sobel - 5 of 6

"Listen aggressively. Listen attentively. Listen to the silence. Listen with your eyes. Listen!" - Andrew Sobel

#312 - Daily MG - Power Questions by Andrew Sobel - 4 of 6

"People crave two things above all else. They seek appreciation and they want someone to listen to them." - Andrew Sobel

#311 - Daily MG - Power Questions by Andrew Sobel - 3 of 6

"‘What do you think?’”.... Those four words, What do you think?, are powerful. You are seeking an opinion. The person you're talking with wants you to listen. You've heard about people who talk too much. You never heard about a person who listens too much." - Andrew Sobel